I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Congratulations! We have a period
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