Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
