We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
