My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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