the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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