I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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