Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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