Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
