ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
