okay pat passed out under dana's car
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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