And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
