Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
