Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
