Non-Jews are for practice
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
