My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
