Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We have started to decorate penises.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
