He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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