she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
