idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
