all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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