Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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