i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
