just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the day after is always just damage control
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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