its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
