at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
