Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
