I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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