I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
