OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
