There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize