can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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