so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
