She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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