This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
