@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
