please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
