I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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