O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
