Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
