just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
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i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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