he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize