Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Panties = found
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
