i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
