I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
