Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
