Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
