It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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