Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
