So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
