I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
