So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
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All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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