I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
