Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
