But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
