I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
