yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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