You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
