i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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