There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
